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Thursday, October 13, 2011

Can I Have Fall Please?

It is October, and still summer is holding on, like a stubborn cat with its claws dug into someones pant leg.

I want it to FEEL like autumn.

There is just something about the air in the fall, when the temperature just starts to drop and the world smells like wood smoke from peoples chimneys. There is an electricity, a spark, that makes me feel like I can take on the world.

Its October 13, and still getting over 80 degrees. I'm still wearing shorts and a tank top. And I'm not feeling that "I can take on the world" feeling.

Truth be told I was sort of counting on that feeling to get me over this hump, or bump, or slump, or whatever you you want to call this "-ump" that I've been in.

Since the first of the year I've lost 20 pound.

And then I gained EVERY SINGLE POUND BACK.

I went right back to 230, and right now, as I write this, I'm at 228.2.

I would like to be back in the 2-teens by the end of the month, or by my sons birthday (Nov. 18th) at the latest. I want to be under 2oo by Christmas.

I was kind of depending on that electric fall air, so I could walk outside, take a deep lung-full and tell myself, "You can do this!"

Instead I'm still walking outside into heat and humidity like a brick wall and saying, "Eff this mess, I'm going back inside."

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