Tomorrow I Will Hate Myself

When my alarm goes off at 7am (don't laugh, 7 is really early for me) and I actually get out of bed, the sleepy part of me will hate me.

When I leave the house and go for a mile walk, the part of me that wants to be lazy before she has to go to work later will hate me.

When I eat my pitiful little breakfast, and the my pitiful little lunch, then my pitiful little supper, my stomach will hate me.

I have a long, several months of hatred of myself ahead of me, but it will be a different kind of hatred, the kind of hatred I can live with instead of the self loathing that will kill me.

Never Say Never
Get Fit or Die!

Weight Loss Chart

While surfing weight loss pages on Stumbleupon, I came across this chart:



And this was written about it:

“All that you need for my diet is graph paper, a ruler, and a pencil,” Steve would explain. “The horizontal axis is time, one line per day. The vertical axis is weight in lbs. You plot your current weight on the left side of the paper. You plot your desired weight on a desired date towards the right side, making sure that you’ve left the correct number of lines in between (one per day). You draw a line from the current weight/date to the desired weight/date. Every morning you weigh yourself and plot the result. If the point is below the line, you eat whatever you want all day. If the point is above the line, you eat nothing but broccoli or some other low-calorie food.”

And while I would have no plan to ever eat nothing but broccoli for a day, I do already weigh myself every day and thought this would be an easy way to track my ups and downs.  And since I already have graph paper for charting my cross stitch patterns, and it was so simple, I charted myself a graph...



I was at 214 when I made the chart (yesterday) and it goes through to about the 4th of June.  I've set my GW to be 180 by June 4, which is 30 pounds gone (about 5 a week between now and then) which may or may not be reachable but.......at least its something to aim for.

DAY ONE

Below is a picture of me, almost a year ago.  The shirt keeps wanting to ride up over my tummy.  The shorts would not button.



And this next one is me today.  The shorts are super tight, but they button.  The shirt no longer wants to roll up like a loose window shade.



Interesting to see how a difference of 5 pounds can make a bigger physical difference than you would think.

Kiss my Fat Ass

I want it to be known that I'm not for "Fat Acceptance" I'm not happy being fat, and I don't think that fat is beautiful on most people.

However, I am for basic human decency and respect, and think that all people should be treated the same, regardless of their weight. No one should ever be shamed for being too thin or too big!

Off the Reservation

Here's the deal, the real deal, the deal that is real....

I slipped.  I didn't just slide a little bit, I did a while body belly flip on a slip-n-slide going downhill.

Last time I stepped on the scale it said 217, which was up from 214 that I had gotten down to before the end of last month, when I lost a very important person in my life.

To begin with I didn't get that bad.  I maintained.  Then I went up to 216, and no matter how little I ate or how much I exercised I stayed stuck at 216, and I was so depressed about it.  Angry and annoyed and slowly stopped moving as much and slowly started eating more.

I didn't weigh in this morning.

Not so much on purpose, but because we got up first thing and went to the lake, which I walked around.  I think its 2 miles around the lake.  Then we played in the park a little.

So, taking it in stride, tomorrow will be DAY ONE all over again.

Lets hope I've not gotten back up to the 220s.